Untitled

Thesis — BFA @ CCS

Spring 2021

My process of investigation:

1) Writing

I began by choosing eight key words that were indicative of my experience then and now. From there, I tried my hand at the surrealist technique of automatic writing (writing without thinking).

Compared to typical journaling, this exercise made me write in a more detailed, free flowing, and inquisitive manner. I learned some things about myself that I don’t think I would have otherwise, and the process helped me reframe my experience in my mind.

2) Making

My next step on this strange journey was to begin to make. I picked apart my writings in search of descriptive words that I could easily express with ink and a brush.

For example, instead of trying to reflect the entirety of my pain in one ink painting, I painted one small part of that pain. By approaching it this way, I removed most of the pressure inherit to the experience.

3) Refining

Once I had a large collection of paintings that I felt, in one way or another, reflected my writings, I began to collage them together. I distorted them, cut them up, and added color and other digital elements. This was the most challenging part of the entire process. I had to keep reminding myself that the goal was to create a represention of my feelings, not the representation of them. 

1) Writing & 2) Making

I think making a habit of writing to explore your emotions, and making to process them might be a good idea for anyone struggling with trauma or mental health issues, it’s not exclusive to artists.

I believe it would be most effective as a daily practice, for example, simply writing and making based on your feelings at the end of the day.

3) Refining

For me, refining was just an extra step in the processing phase. I don’t think it helped me learn any more about myself, but it made me feel more in control. Demons not entirely slayed, but I did more damage. Toxins not entirely purged, but further along on their way out. 

What next? Keep moving forward.